A brother letter

Well i'm not sure we’re ever had this kind of talk before.

I should’ve told you this if you were able to speak or listen me but you are not like others even not intelligent like others but you are god gifted.I guess it’s sort of destiny fault. But I want to make up for all of that as much as I possibly can.

Anyways my blog starts now : As a modern girl, you’re subjected to so many stereotypes. That you’re supposed to be prim and proper and always maintain your calm and basically live with everyone else in harmony and conformity. But I want to tell you that you don’t need to.

I know that everyone has always taught you to be the polite, humble and grateful woman that you are today, but I want you to be impolite if the need ever arises. I want you to stand up for your fellow woman or man, at the risk of discomfort and develop a zero-tolerance attitude for bullying, harassment of any kind, demeaning comments or insensitivity, whether it’s directed at you or anyone else. You don’t have to make a scene; you can calmly explain to others what they did wrong. But don’t ever be afraid of making a scene if you have to. I can understand how at first you’d be perceived as somewhat ill-mannered and the sort who causes embarrassment to others. But the more you fight these stereotypes, the more you’ll promote a culture of tolerance and understanding.

Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life. As a young woman, you may seek out the companionship of your fellow woman and think that you could lead a happy and content life if you followed the example of your best friend. Don’t. Everyone leads a unique life, filled with their own challenges and hardships. Just because you envy the life of your friends, doesn’t mean you need to follow in their footsteps. Be yourself, always. You’re a beautiful person, on the inside and out. Spend time with yourself and get to know you. Life is too short to live trapped in the dogma of others.

Don’t compare yourself with other women. While having a female role model to look up to is great, constantly feeling jealous of other women can really bring you down. Don’t be bogged down by the media’s unrealistic standards of beauty, you’re beautiful just the way you are. You don’t need to use an endless supply of products every time you want to feel good about yourself. Too many women waste their time being insecure and unhappy about their bodies to enjoy their life. Don’t be one of them.

I also want you to become more independent. Although you can always count on me to help out in any way that i can, I want you to start doing more things by yourself. Like driving to the store. Paying your bills online. Cooking for one. Prioritizing your spending. Being independent isn’t just about making your own money and doing what you like. It’s a way of life. Independence means accepting responsibility for your choices and your actions. It means feeling secure in your life, no matter what is going down around you. And it means living with the consequences.

People tend to confuse independence with never asking for help. The real key to becoming an independent woman is knowing as much as possible about yourself and the world around you. It’s simply not possible for any one person to know everything. So if you don’t know something, ask. Learn. Teach yourself. Read a book. Take a class.  And you’ll never have to ask again. Take pride in yourself and your capabilities. It’s a feeling of joy that no one can take away from you.

I also want you to be more happy. And to not base that happiness on your relationship status. I won’t pretend to tell you that I know everything there is about love, but what I have learnt is that having a significant other in your life should enhance your life. But you don’t need a man to define yourself or validate your life. Too many people spend too much time chasing after a relationship they don’t need before they’ve learnt to love themselves.

When you do fall in love, I want you to take your time. There isn’t really such a thing as ‘the perfect partner’, but any man you do fall in love with should respect and love the strong, independent woman that you are. He should appreciate you for all that you do, support your passions as though they were his own, be a shoulder to cry on and call you out when you make a mistake. He should be understanding and communicative. He should be someone you can talk to just as easily about your day as your hopes, dreams and fears.

But even if you do get into a relationship, or get married, always make sure you have other things going on in your life outside the relationship. Hang out with your own friends, make plans at work, have your own hobbies and interests. Getting into a relationship doesn’t mean losing all sense of self or your identity. But at the same time, there’s a fine line between compromise and being yourself. Relationships aren’t about one person. And its never going to be without its ups and downs. Learn to throw your ego aside and work with your partner when things get hard.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it; being a woman in this modern day is pretty hard. You not only have to face opposition from men who may think you’re beneath them, but also from your own gender who may pull you down when you climb too high. But I’m confident that the smart, beautiful woman you’ve become will find a way to steamroll through any obstacle and come out the other end, completely unscathed. And while I may have never told you this before, I’m glad that i'm your brother It’s a badge of honor I’ll always wear proudly on my chest.